Dear Rat that is in my House,
You and I both know that while you have been in my house, I have not liked you. I don’t think you like me much either. Even though you accidentally stumbled upon this plethora of food that is my kitchen, I still blame you for my lack of sleep this week.
And now, my parents are out of town and if you were to die, I would have to deal with you.
But I don’t want you to be alive in my house anymore. If you could just leave, that would be excellent. For you see, you would still get to be alive, and I would not be afraid to go to sleep anymore.
I hope you know I can currently see you as you scurry across the floor. So can my hunting dog, whom is sleeping on my bed tonight. Also, if you could stop nibbling holes in my cereal boxes, that would be great. It makes it hard to pour in the morning with 2 spouts.
Please decide soon. I have to get up at 6 tomorrow morning, and I’m tired.
Thanks,
~Stephanie
You’ll just have to set rat traps & be careful not to set them off with your fingers or toes. I would suggest that you put every food item into a rat proof container, except is anything really rat proof? Mice are bad enough.
Anyhow, this was the cutest rant here.