We Are Rantasaurus Rex, Hear Us Roar

Joe B., with the keen food instincts 

It was a warm August day and my 5 year old son and I were coming back from a walk and visit to the park and decided to stop in at one of our local Chinese restaurants to get a lunch special. There were only two other patrons in the restaurant. An older women and an older man, each of whom sat at different tables. The older man seemed to be having a tough time eating as he coughed and hacked continuously while he ate.

Before we finished our meal the older hacking man got up and left. The waitress went over and grabbed his plate and then walked over to our table and, with the fork she had picked up along with the older man’s plate, scraped the departed customer’s food on to my plate and said ” He no eat. You eat.” and walked away.

My son and I looked at the food the waitress had just unloaded on to my plate without my requesting she do so. We didn’t speak as we didn’t know what to say. The other old lady patron was watching all this but expressionless and she never stopped chewing and swallowing.

Within a minute or two I suggested to my son we leave. My appetite had suddenly dissipated.

The waitress grabbed our plates and put our left-overs into a to-go container, again without my asking her to do this. We paid our bill and left with the to-go container.

Soon we made it to the corner of the block in which we had to turn and go down the street to our home. Just as we did this a friendly stray dog ran up to greet us.

On impulse I opened our to-go container and dumped the contents out on the sidewalk thinking this hungry looking dog would love a treat of human food. This was a combination of our uneaten food and the hacking man’s left overs.

This stray dog seemed very excited at first but during it’s cursury sniffing and checking out of this generous but gooey mess, it kept stopping and lifting it’s head as if it was thinking” something ain’t right here.”

After 2 or 3 attempts to reassure itself that we weren’t trying to poison him…this now suspicious hound obviously decided that it wasn’t worth the risk and gave us both a look of ” you think I’m that dumb?” and just scampered off.

Again my son and I glanced at each other. Again we didn’t know what to say. We continued on home silently contemplating what we just witnessed. In the 18 years since this experiencing this curious event, we still occasionally bring it up. No laughing…just incredulous wonder.

Rantasaurus Says: You disrespectful ignoramus. In many cultures, especially the cultures that value their ancestors, old man snot is a delicacy. I would’ve eaten it all up and asked for more.