BoggyWoggy, don’t mess with our doggies
We have 3 large dogs. We live outside city limits in a neighborhood of 1/3 acre-plus sized lots.
One night, while out dining on our deck with guests, our next-door neighbor showed up with some contraption he’d purchased on the Internet. In front of our guests, he explained that our barking dogs were bothering him so much that he wanted to share a “solution.”
I said, “I didn’t know our dogs were barking.”
He said, “They bark when you aren’t home. It’s gotten to the point of insanity, ’cause they bark at me while I’m trying to mow my lawn and it’s really bugging me.”
I said, “I didn’t know they were barking when we weren’t home. I guess since we’re not home when it happens, we had no idea there was a problem.”
He said, “It’s been going on for years.”
Anyway, he’d purchased an anti-barking machine. He wanted to hang it on our fence. I said, “What does it do?”
He said, “When a dog barks, it lets out a horrible, high-pitched noise. This stops the barking.” He then demonstrated the noise. We all cringed and held our hands over our ears.
I said, “But, we have 3 dogs!”
He said, “Yeah, I know. So what?”
I said, “Well, idiot, if one dog barks, the machine will emit the horrid sound. If the others dogs are, say, chewing on their butts at the time, they’ll begin to believe that chewing on their butts makes the machine blast, so then they’ll stop chewing on their butts and be miserable, with itchy butts they cannot scratch!”
Freakin’ neighbor looks at me and says, “Huh?”
Then I said, “It’s basic psychology, Mr. ___! Don’t you EVEN hang that machine on our fence!” He walked away, scratching his head.
That night, I went on the Internet and purchased a machine that makes a horrid sound whenever any assholes approach our house.
Rantasaurus Says: – emits unbearably loud, high-pitched sound -
Where can I get that anti asshole alarm?
Perhaps you would prefer a few lumps of piosoned meat tossed over your fence?
Wouldn’t it have been simpler if he’d just told you about the barking? (Which he says has been going on for years, after all). Some people just make things more difficult for themselves…
OTOH, is there anything dog-owners can DO about dogs which bark when they aren’t home? It can be very annoying. I had a neighbour who was regularly away all night and his dog barked throughout the night. We complained, but the guy didn’t care, since HE didn’t have to be kept awake by it.
Hmmm.. I get the logic about not wanting the dogs to be confused about the machine, but still that doesn’t mean something shouldn’t be done… maybe you take the dogs outside one at a time with the machine… so they each get trained not to bark… maybe take the other 2 to someone elses house (if the dogs will not bark when you are there…which I doubt) and then rotate until they all get it. I know it seems excessive but if you are going to be a responsible and considerate pet owner then sometimes you have to go out of your way. Or just ignore it and then YOU can be the asshole neighbor… but then watch out for some poisoned meat like razzbuffnik said… people do crazy things.
ROFLMAO – did you get the machine?? Cause I want one!
I had to get a bark collar for my teeny weenie Yorkiepoo because of the same issue – although I don’t live on any size acreage so maybe it could be annoying.
It upset me though because the collar I got didn’t have a setting and I was worried at the voltage. So, yes, I tested it on myself. I couldn’t get to LEVEL 3! – and the dam thing goes up to 12! I would come home to a fried Yorkiepoo!
I will not put it on her now unless I’m home and she’s barking incessantly – which she doesn’t do much anymore. Would you if you thought you’d get electrocuted every time you opened your mouth?
Animals have a right to have their say too – we humans are getting much to uppity.
You’d think in “years” he would have had time to mention it to you instead of buying some contraption to make them stop barking. Or if he was going to splurge anyway he could have gotten them each an anti-bark collar (they have ones that dont shock the dogs). I give him some credit for trying to find a solution instead of just griping about the problem, but sometimes mentioning that something is an issue is enough to convince people to try to fix it.
Maybe you should buy him a louder lawnmower…
Wow! What a surprise to find this here! I forgot that I submitted a “neighbor” story!
For clarity: once we found out the dogs had been barking, we took immediate action. We’re those “good neighbors” everyone wishes to have…as long as we know that something needs doin’.
The dogs are now in our backyard fenced area. Granted, that meant giving up an oasis, as that area contains all of oru raised herb beds, beautiful deck, patio, and small garden pond. But, hey, I’d much rather that dogs are quiet while we’re away! I’d give up my own space ANYTIME for on their behalf. They’re great boys! Now, the neighbor has nothing to bitch about! A-yo-ho-ho!
I hope you’re making sure this dumbass isn’t harassing your dogs while you’re not home! Maybe another neighbor could let you know if he’s doing anything that might harm or scare your dogs….
I totally side with your neighbor. As a rule, dogs should be seen but not heard. Sure, a little barking is to be expected, but if it’s incessant you should work with your neighbor to find a solution.
I’m not sure if you were kidding about the possibility of inadvertantly training one of the dogs not to bite itself, but in case you were serious, I’ll tell you it’s not a legitimate concern. Behavioral associations are not formed after one trial, and it is unlikely that one of your dogs will be biting itself every time another dog barks. No, all your dogs will understand the association between barking and the irritating tone. To quote you, “It’s basic psychology.” Perhaps, if one dog is the primary barker and persists despite the tone, the quiet dogs might associate the distressing tone with the barking dog and, overtime develop a fear of that dog. Unlikely though.
If you really talked to your neighbor as you indicate in your post, the relationship is probably poisened – so good job there. Hopefully you were exagerating your tone for effect.
Even if you don’t allow your neighbor to hang the contraption on your fence, I bet he could construct something on his side of the fence to hang it on.
Oh please, be adults and take care of your damn animals. If they’re barking when you’re gone and making a nuisance of themselves then you owe it to your poor neighbor to remedy the situation. Or maybe he should just start making a crapload of noise whenever you’re home and see how much you appreciate that…
Boggywoggy,
You have to live a long time next to neighbors. I’m glad you moved the dogs to make them happy. You might apologize for you dogs maybe get them a plant or something and give them a bag of treats to throw to your dogs to help calm them down. That way when the dogs do bark he won’t ignore whats going on at your place. I didn’t appreciate my nosey abrasive neghbor until he police when someone was breaking in.
Barking dogs atlas:
You know what— Seriously.
I live in an area with hundreds of people near me and for some reason the ONLY irritating sound I ever have to listen to is my asshole neighbor’s dog–which of course barks CONSTANTLY when the neighbor isn’t home.
So, yeah, maybe the guy’s idea didn’t take into consideration the fact that your dogs might be negatively influenced not to do perfectly acceptable things– TOO EFFING BAD, ASSHOLE!!! NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR STUPID DOGS WHEN YOU’RE NOT HOME.
Oh, my, gawd! Are all of the commentors SERIOUS! Rantasaurus is a place for ranting! Don’t EVEN try to teach lessons on this site, you idiots! Read the information. As soon as we learned that our dogs were barkers, we moved them. It was simple. We like making sure folks are happy and comfortable. We hate barking dogs. However, we didn’t know they were barking when we were away! Jeez!