We Are Rantasaurus Rex, Hear Us Roar

Vampire Faust, watchin’ the player get played

In high school, I thought I was doomed to live a life of celibacy. My “friends”, however, were throwing poon at every boy that came sniffing around. They’d already lost their virginities by Junior year. The sad part was that I had to explain what a broken hymen was to one of them, and I was always the one they called when they were freaking out because they were pregnant.

My first job was flipping burgers at BK. I had been working there for about a month when M. started working there. Tall, wiry, dark hair, dark eyes, funny, silly, liked the same kind of music as I did…I was swooning in my french-fry-scented uniform shirt. He quit before summer started because he was going to California to visit family for a month. He asked for my number the day before he left.

A month later, he called. He wanted to meet up with me at the local arcade. I went out of my way to look pretty. I made sure my combat boots were clean and I had a nice tee to wear with my skirt. (Hooray for grunge.) I was nervous as all hell. We sat on the stoop outside of the arcade, smoking Marlboro Reds and talking about music and high school and college, the typical 16-year-old discussion. Then he said he had to get home, and he kissed me. This was a real kiss, not just a smooch on the cheek or a peck on the lips. I floated back into the arcade where my friends were and giggled about him for the rest of the night.

Fast forward a week later. B. and C. came into my work looking like someone killed their dog. Apparently, the night before, they had gone to the lakefront to hang out, and they ran into my “friend” A. She was with M. Yep, the same guy who kissed me less than 7 days ago. She met him at the arcade when I wasn’t around. C. mentioned to A. that I was interested in M. Later on, it was revealed that she screwed him in the back of her car a couple of hours after meeting him.

There is nothing sadder than a sobbing 16-year-old heartbroken BK employee.

I confronted A. at the arcade the next day. She claimed that she didn’t know that was the guy I kept talking about. I told her she was a filthy liar. I told M. that he was less than a piece of shit in the gutter, and if all he wanted was to get in a girl’s pants, then why did he just kiss me and leave? He hung his head and shrugged. I let it go. What else was I supposed to do? I certainly wasn’t going to be the other woman. And I most certainly wasn’t going to give it up to him NOW. They started dating, and I was still single.

They broke up before she went into the Army. Why? She cheated on him. I’m not ashamed to say that when he told me how heartbroken he was, I laughed.

Rantasaurus Says: He got what he deserved twice, heartbreak and no more chances with you. Double damn! You can flip my burger anytime.