Jeff,
I’m guessing it’s you. My new boss, the one with the skills to actually keep a laboratory running without causing all his employees to slit their throats in desperation, just informed me that someone, an un-named someone, has been taking great delight in telling him the times I arrive and leave the lab each day, and my powers of deduction say that must be you.
You snaggle-tooth pedophile face, I knew you would try something like this. Do you tell him when I stay late? Do you tell him about the times I am here late at night when even the bloody PhD students have gone home to their mummies? No, of course not. When you tried, and failed, to get me fired for your incompetence, Andrew warned me that you were vindictive, but honestly, you could have come up with something a little less school-boy. Dobbing in other people to the teacher? You’re so unimaginative you make me sick.
A year of working with you nearly gave me a f***ing mental illness, I hated you so much. You are the lowest kind of creep. You harass and belittle, and worse than that, you are talentless as a towel. People avoid you in hallways; they don’t want to take their lunchbreak until after you have in case they get stuck next to you at the table, and now THIS?
Well, next time you try to create trouble for me, I’m sure I can think of something a lot more creative than crying to the boss. I could just pull the alarm out of your freezer and leave the door open overnight. Those samples were precious? They represent a decade of research? How sad… now they are gone forever.
Yours truly,
Me
I’m at work right now. People are coming out of their offices to ask what I just burst out laughing about.
“You snaggle tooth pedophile face.” That’s pretty much insult of the year. FTW.
LOL!!! You go!! Defrost those samples!
I echo Kait. Hiilarious. A true rant.
Great rant, I’ve been there too, but beware of sample-defrost wars… Revenge attacks are common, then all hell breaks loose.