In honor of Memorial Day Weekend, we have a few rants submitted on the subject of holidays and vacations. Enjoy!
Dear 9 to 5 Shmucks,
Memorial Day Weekend is the worst time on Earth, other than Labor Day Weekend, 4th of July, Christmas, New Year’s, Easter and whenever else the office lemmings possibly get time off from their cubicles/padded cells.
Yep, you guessed it, I work at home very part-time and I’m proud of it. Every day is fucking Memorial Day Weekend for me. This weekend, I’ve got the same important plans I do every weekend, every weekday, even: I’m going to go to Safeway, buy some Becks, buy a pan of St. Louis ribs and then go home and eat/drink it all.
Call me a slob, a drunk, a scourge on society but this is the life. I don’t need holiday weekends several times a year to be able to come home, breathe deeply and remember what my children look like.
To make matters worse, I have to sit in your traffic, stand in your lines at the store, pay your high prices and otherwise accomodate you while you try to cram the lifetime you’re missing into three days.
Everybody, quit your jobs and live it up. It’s not like you’ve got unlimited Memorial Day Weekends left.
Peter B.
PS- Also, when is someone going to take me seriously about my HOV lane pass idea. Everyone who doesn’t work 9 to 5 should be allowed to apply for a special pass that lets them go in the special lane anyway because, hey, it’s not our traffic we’re sitting in!
